Am done with LJ.
Am moving out.

Am forwarding to:
http://articulateboy.blogspot.com

See you at the crossroads.

Loneliness is self-inflicted. Happiness is self-induced. 
Shits happen in life, it's my decision which one to choose.
And with the truth in front of me, am contented. Satisfied. 
It hurts, but I know I can take the scorching pain.
With the future ahead of me, I know I'll be fine.
And so, i chose to be drama-free.

waday

Alas nuebe y medya na ng gabi.

Alas nuebe y medya pero heto ako't naglalakad sa kawalan. Saan ako galing? Naghatid. Sabihin na nating isang bagong kaibigang bukas ay limot ko na ang pangalan. Saan ako patungo? Doon. Doon sa peryang kakabukas pa lamang dahil sa pagdiriwang ng piyesta sa susunod na Linggo. Marami kasing tao. Maraming ilaw. May pula, asul, dilaw at iba pa. Lahat naroon. Kumbaga noong elementarya, ROYGBIV. Nilakad ko mula bayan hanggang sa perya. Hindi ko ininda kung gaano kalayo kahit na nakapambahay lamang ako at tsinelas, ayos lang. Naroong hawakan ko lahat ng telepono ko para umiwas sa mga isnatser at holdaper. Oo, lahat. Tatlo kasi sila. Isa sa bawat kumpanya ng telepono. Naroon ding mapuwing ako sa makapal na usok ng mga tambutsong kaylakas kung humarurot. Pati ang makatapak ng matitinik na bato sa bawat kalyeng aking likuan. Pero ayos lang. Binigay ko pa rin ang sarili ng buong buo.

Nakarating ako ng walang masamang nangyari sa akin. Salamat. Pero hindi pa dito natapos ang paglalakad. Mula kanto hanggang kanto inararo ko. Para lang maghanap ng hanger at piniratang DVD. Naisip ko kasi kulang na nga pala mga hanger ko sa damitan dahil sa biglang pagdami ng mga karsunsilyo ko at barong. DVD naman para sa kapatid kong kahapon pa nangungulit. Pero sa awa naman Niya, wala akong nakita. Puro mga pekeng damit na para sa iba'y pang-alis na pero para sa akin ay pambahay o basahan lamang. Mga pekeng sapatos at sandalyas na akala mo gawa sa Marikina o sa Tate ngunit gawa lang naman sa isang lugar na katunog nito, mali pa ang ispeling. Puro mga tigsasampung-pisong laruan, coloring book at iba pa na ilang gamitan lamang ay wasak na. Walang hanger at DVD. Siguro masyado pang maaga para doon. Ni hindi pa nga puno ang kalyeng ito ng mga tindahang magbibigay aliw at kasiyahan sa lahat. Bumalik ako. Ngayon, patungo naman sa perya. Akala mo yun na yun? Hindi pa. Kinailangan ko pang bumalik muli. Matinding lakaran na naman ito. Siyempre nilingon ko na naman kung may hanger o DVD. Wala talaga.

Saglit lang ako sa perya. Pumasok lang ako at nagmasid. Ang sasaya ng mga bata. Hagis rito, hagis roon ng mga baryang pinapalit pa sa kanto o sa tindahan ni Aling Glory. Pati yung mga nakasakay sa kalawanging karusel at katerpilar. Ako lang yata ang hindi. Binuksan ko ang isa kong telepono. Tinangka kong kunan ng litrato ang Ferris Wheel, pero nabigo ako. Ang pangit ng komposisyon. Sa ibang araw na lang, nasambit ko sa aking sarili. Bumalik ako at nagbalak ng umuwi.

Alas diyes na pala.

Alas diyes pa lang pala. Akalain mo nga namang akala ko ang tagal ko na dito. Siguro masyado akong naaliw ng mga bagay na nasa paligid ko.

Uwi na ako.

Siyempre, mag-traysikel na ako. Hindi naman ako ganung ka-martyr.

Three interesting SMS messages from Byron woke me up in the middle of my slumber.

"Find someone who wants to kiss you everyday, who lifts and hugs you when you're jealous, who patiently keeps silent when you're mad, who fixes your hair just to see your face, and the one who wants to have lunch with you with his family. The one who shares his drinks with you, who squeezes your hand together when you squeeze his, and the one who will cut work just to have a date with you. Find someone who plans and imagines his future with you for years from now. 
And when you find him.. Never let go."

Sent: 122606 - 04:54:37am

-----

"Months have passed but still no one to hug and kiss, and no one to plan the future with. I always say that I'm happy being single but I have to admit, it's somehow incomplete."

Sent: 122606 - 04:54:05am

-----

"For a long time I've been asking myself, where does love go after someone breaks up with you. Why suddenly we feel tired of loving that person. Why we cannot offer even friendship. And I found the answer. Many may think I'm stupid not to know but the answer is simple. Because one expects something in return when they give love away. And when we don't get what we expect we feel tired or even give up. Many have said that love is not selfish but really, it is. It always has, it'll always be."]

Sent: 122606 - 04:52:08am 

--------------------





 

[	State of Mind	|	melancholy	]
[	Soul Food	|	Nina - Someday	]

I bid farewell.
I'm finally letting go.

I wept. I laughed. I partied harder than ever. I shouted and cursed. I was bitter.
I was in melancholy. I was depressed. I became anxious. I was hurt.
You promised. I hoped. You loved me. But you lied.
I jittered. I stuttered. I talked. I was drunk. I opened up. I shut all doors.
I opened them. A lot wanted to come in. I don't want them to. Not yet.

But I was happy.

I touch the fire and it freezes me.
I look into it and it's black.
Why can't I feel?
My skin should crack and peel
I want the fire back
Now through the smoke you call to me
to make my way across the flame
to save the day or maybe melt away
I guess it's all the same.

So I will walk through the fire
'Cause where else can I turn?
I will walk through the fire 
And let it burn.

Thank you for the five beautiful months we've shared.
Those taught me a lot of things I don't need to mention.
I don't need to look back on. Things I don't want to recall.

And so with this, I officially let go.

[	State of Mind	|	contemplative	]
[	Soul Food	|	Vertical Horizon - You're a God	]

Shall I reach for thy hand while we're sleeping?
Shall I cuddle thee whole-heartedly and whisper the sweetest things thee will ever hear?

Will thee take my hand and not push me away?
Will thee hush back of our love?

I am thy pet now.
You've been wandering in my heart longer than this cold winter night.
Show me whole.
Don't discard the feelings of these two connected hearts bear.

I need thy embrace.

[	State of Mind	|	amused	]
[	Soul Food	|	Katherine McPhee - Think	]

Can. Only. Type. One. Word.
No. Explanations.

1. Yourself:
Unpredictable.

2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend (spouse),
None.

3. Your hair:
Flat.

4. Your mother:
Lovable.

5. Your Father:
Missed.

6. Your Favorite Item:
Clothes.

7. Your dream last night:
Someone.

8. Your Favorite drink:
Frappucino.

9. Your Dream Car:
Jaguar.

10. The room you are in:
Cold.

11. Your Ex:
MJ.

12. Your fear:
Failures.

13. What you want to be in 10 years?
Director.

14. Who you hung out with last night?
Agents.

15. What you're Not?
Unapproachable.

16. Muffins:
Blueberry.

17. One of Your Wish List Items:
Belt.

18. Time:
Fast.

19. The Last Thing You Did:
Reports.

20. What You Are Wearing:
Jeans.

21. Your Favorite Weather: 
Cloudy.

22. Your Favorite Book:
Tuesdays.

23. The Last Thing You Ate:
Tocino.

24. Your Life:
Peaceful.

25. Your Mood:
Discombobulated

26. Your best friend:
Beshie.

27. What are you thinking about right now?
Sleep.

28. Your car:
N/A.

29. What are you doing at the moment?
Thinking.

30. Your summer:
Office.

31. Your relationship status:
Taken.

32. What is on your TV?
Nip/Tuck.

33. What is the weather like?
Cool.

34. When is the last time you laughed?
Gabbie's.

Got it from?
AL.

[	State of Mind	|	ecstatic	]
[	Soul Food	|	Fergie - London Bridge	]

My latest addiction? 
Nope, not milk. Scalpels.



Yes, yer right. At last, after Buffy called it End Credits, I've finally found another TV show worth watchin. Am seeing Nip/Tuck on ETC but I know they're chopping out other scenes jes like Sean and Christian who chops off each other's lives in misery and company. Thanks to the help of my Significant Other, we borrowed the DVDs of his housemate, Vyron, for me to completely satisfy my craving for blood and tubes. Thanks again, dearest.

Gotta go, am not done with Season 2 yet LOL

[	State of Mind	|	disappointed	]
[	Soul Food	|	Tracy Chapman - Fast Car	]

You can't move on using all those partying every weekends, my dear. I thought you were ok. It seemed as if. Or maybe I assumed too much. How I see you smile with the new guy. How you typed in the words: "extravagantly happy" on the captions text box. Boy, I'm happy now and I thought you were. I wanted to stop hurting you but it seems that I cannot. Everywhere I go and everything I do, it appears that I still am hurting someone so special. Someone who was with me althroughout the special events in my life. I want you to move on. Test the waters. Because I did. Am afraid to get hurt, yes. But I'm willing to take this important, meaningful risk with this person.